Brie Larson Has Stopped Being a People Pleaser, Says – “It’s Not Worth It”

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The Marvel star Brie Larson, who plays “Carol Danvers” in Captain Marvel, has been working on self-growth. Both personal and emotional. The actress is focusing and has stopped trying to please everyone for the sake of being nice. She has worked on her mindset and is now more vocal about her feelings, caring less about what others may feel like and getting her message across.

Recently Larson has picked up archery as a hobby, she posted pictures of her practicing, and it got all the fans on Instagram excited.

As a part of her personal growth, Larson stated, “My hobby appears to be taking up new hobbies.” 

Larson was on the Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard a day back; the actress completely opened up about the pressure she felt to please everyone and how she overcame it. She mentioned she had to gather the courage to stand up for herself in situations that were not comfortable for her.

Larson stated about the situation,

The last year-and-a-half or two years, I feel like the universe has confronted me with the need to be able to confront [situations], and confront sooner, and just go, ‘Eh. I don’t like that,'” Larson explained. “I’ll find that, especially with smaller things, I’ll just be like ‘It’s just not worth it.’ And now I’m like, you know what’s not worth it? Being uncomfortable and then having resentment and then being weird to somebody forever. That’s not it. Why not just get it over with and say, ‘[That’s] not my preference.

Despite winning the Academy Award for Best Actress in 2016 for her role in Room, the actress still had many insecurities, anxiety, and the fear of confronting people. This was due to the fact that she was more motivated to please people, along with not having enough confidence in herself. Mostly thinking that she must be wrong or that her opinion doesn’t matter.

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A scene from Larson’s Academy Award-winning film “Room”

 

In those moments, Larson would often think to herself,

I don’t want to look like a fool for saying something when I’m obviously wrong. It’s just my opinion. That can’t be right.

Larson said learning not to force herself to accept or do something she was unwilling to opened up new thinking patterns and led to personal growth.

The actress further explained her personal growth, stating,

There’s the intellectual part of me that’s like, yeah of course, love everybody, I get it. But then, like, do I really feel that? Because I’ll find myself skipping ahead, like, well, I know I’m wrong, I know I shouldn’t have this resentment or I know I shouldn’t feel this way so I’m just gonna act like I don’t. But it doesn’t really work. That’s just another way of us tricking ourselves into not confronting. We’re like, I’m a nice person so I’m just gonna be OK with them.

She also mentioned how unreal the anxiety-fueled stories in our minds can be. And controlling those thoughts before they get out of control is equally important.

Sometimes the cortisol, all those things, then make it even harder to access what’s true, what’s living in us, what’s available, and we make stories up. One of the last times I had to confront somebody, I put it off for a year or maybe two because I had all these stories: Oh well they’re going through this, they’re going through that and I should be more caring, I should be more this.

Larson then mentioned that she had a realization that once she confronts someone, all the charge around it doesn’t disappear because the stories in your head stop popping up. She explained,

Then I had this moment where I was like, if we got rid of the stories, then you just confront something and you don’t have all the charge around it because the story isn’t there. So you can just say, ‘Hey this felt kinda s****y’ or ‘My feelings were hurt’ or ‘I might be wrong but this is what I got from our last phone call and it made me feel this way.’ Instead of [having] all this stuff come up that has nothing to do with the simplicity of ‘This is what I felt’ and being open to how they handle it, which sometimes isn’t good.

She mentioned that now she does confront people immediately; half of the time, it goes okay, and half of the time, it doesn’t. Larson says that this new change has helped her own her space much more than ever.

She was asked whether her experience has changed as a woman on male-dominated sets or not? To this, she answered,

I had this idea in my head, like, ‘Oh, once I reach blah blah blah, then I’ll finally be respected, and it never changed. The truth is it never changed until I changed. It changed once I was unbothered by it, which seemed so bizarre to me because it was all so external. I was like, I’ll never get away from this thing, this oppressive feeling. But then once I diminished the effect it had on me, it [became] funny. Some of it is just absurd. Some of it I have a lot of sympathy for because some people — like directors and producers — despite the fact that they can be older than me and they could have incredible credits, chances are I’ve had more time on set than them because I haven’t had to do the pre-production stuff and I won’t have to do the post stuff. So there’s a higher probability, assuming that I’m working, that I just have more on-set experience.

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Speaking of her success and current place in Hollywood, she elaborated,

I’m also in a different place. I’m on my mark, which is at the epicenter of everybody. I feel everybody’s energy. I know what everybody’s job is. It’s part of my job to know what everybody’s job is. So, I see all this stuff. And because of my job, I feel that people talk to me. Like, crew members will open up and say things so I get this interesting view of all these different things that I don’t know if producers get to see or hear.

Mohid Moosani

Moosani is a night owl who is either binge watching his favorite shows or scribbling on his notebook writing short stories. Often showing up late at work and gulping down 6-7 cups of coffee is his usual practice.

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